For those of you interested in continuing to read my blog and updates on my journey, I have started my own blog here http://whiteheadmarshall.blogspot.com I feel like Words of Whit started for Whitney and was our voice as a family during her hospitalization and then it was our voice when she passed away and the brutal reality as we lost our daughter and beloved sister. The pain and sadness is still very real and we are all very much in grief over her death, but each one of us has our own journey. What was once one voice has now evolved into many voices. I will post on Words of Whit as we feel led to share with you as we journey through this as a family. I welcome you to follow my blog at the above blogspot.
Be Back Later,
Whit's Sisters
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Love and Thanks
Yesterday I filled my lap with over 200+ cards given to our family over the course of the last month. I hadn't made the time to read all of them yet and yesterday I did...
In the last month the pain and heartache have made it overwhelming to do anything, even shower, get the mail and tend to our houses. I know that depression and grief take over your body with a weight that is so heavy you feel like you are carrying bricks on your back, feet, legs and arms. Emotional loss takes a toll on you physically period.
My mom didn't know how she would write all the thank-yous to many people for contributing to Whitney's Medical Expenses account. We would like to take the time to thank everyone personally, but it is a task in itself to even speak to people and form words, let alone writing a heartfelt thanks to each one of you for your generosity. But eventually we will get there and we so appreciate the kindness shown to our family in this deep deep loss.
The common thread between every sympathy card we received was simply put..."there are no words for this deep loss, I am so sorry" Those are the most simple and well received words, because that is how we all feel.
Our family is in a time of healing and we are very thankful for the continued prayers for our family. We take one day at a time. Some days I choose to wear make-up and it stays on all day, no gut wrenching tears that day...then other days, it comes like a blow to the gut and we are sobbing for hours and I resemble Tammy Fay Baker!
We want all of you to know we are so grateful for your love, support, kind words and generosity shown to us. It is overwhelming to receive all of it. We thank you for the bottom of our hearts. Many Blessings to all of you.
With Love,
Whit's Sisters
In the last month the pain and heartache have made it overwhelming to do anything, even shower, get the mail and tend to our houses. I know that depression and grief take over your body with a weight that is so heavy you feel like you are carrying bricks on your back, feet, legs and arms. Emotional loss takes a toll on you physically period.
My mom didn't know how she would write all the thank-yous to many people for contributing to Whitney's Medical Expenses account. We would like to take the time to thank everyone personally, but it is a task in itself to even speak to people and form words, let alone writing a heartfelt thanks to each one of you for your generosity. But eventually we will get there and we so appreciate the kindness shown to our family in this deep deep loss.
The common thread between every sympathy card we received was simply put..."there are no words for this deep loss, I am so sorry" Those are the most simple and well received words, because that is how we all feel.
Our family is in a time of healing and we are very thankful for the continued prayers for our family. We take one day at a time. Some days I choose to wear make-up and it stays on all day, no gut wrenching tears that day...then other days, it comes like a blow to the gut and we are sobbing for hours and I resemble Tammy Fay Baker!
We want all of you to know we are so grateful for your love, support, kind words and generosity shown to us. It is overwhelming to receive all of it. We thank you for the bottom of our hearts. Many Blessings to all of you.
With Love,
Whit's Sisters
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Thinking of Heaven
1 Peter 1:3-5 (The Message)
A New Life
3-5What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we've been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you'll have it all—life healed and whole.Today as it marks a month since Whitney has been taken to be with Jesus, I fill my thoughts and energy in being reminded of her resting place. We all miss her and are still very much sad, heart brokenly sad, there isn't a day that goes by that we don't mourn. I find myself wanting and desiring to know all there is to know about her home now, I know and have heard many wonderful things about heaven and I know that is where I will go when I leave this earth, but Whitney's death has definitely made me crave that knowledge even more.
When our Dad died, it was different, we still miss him, we still wish he was here, but he had lived a life and in his life he had experienced many things. He had a wife, our mom for nearly 33 years and 4 kids and 4 grand kids at the time. We had time to tell him what we wanted to tell him, to live the last days to the fullest. Whitney was so young and we all had our own ideas as well as herself of what her future held. Those life goals have been changed, erased from our futures, that is a hard reality to let go of.
Her giggle is fading from my memory, I try so very hard to hear it, but it is so quiet. I still see her and her smile sitting on the couch, holding and feeding one of the twins. The image I carry is precious to me as well as this powerful memory. The day after my sister had passed in the early morning on April 4th between 6 am- 6:30 am, with a night of no rest, I closed my eyes. I saw the hospital room where Whitney had been for 24 days. The room was really empty, there wasn't any machines or doctors or nurses. Aadam my husband was sitting in the corner, his head was down, I assumed he was praying. To the back of me there was a nurse with long grey hair, she was wearing blue scrubs and going through some orders. I was standing with Whitney, she was on a chair, a hospital reclining chair in place of where her bed was...She was wearing a blue shirt, her favorite shirt and the favorite color of blue she loved. I was helping her put her grey hoodie sweatshirt on. These details are very important to me in sharing this experience with all of you. I had Whitney's hoodie in my hands and was helping her put her arm into the sleeve. I had said to her "Whitney you know where you are going, right?", Whitney looked away, I could see some tears and sadness in her eyes, but I could see it was because of my pain. She shook her head, I didn't really give her time to respond before I said " You are going to be with Jesus and Daddy!", She smiled and then we hugged, a big and long hug. Whitney said, "mmmm, you smell good" and then she reached out to bite me! (if you know Whitney well, you know she was goofy like that, I was so yummy smelling that she wanted to taste it) I looked at her and smiled, tears rolling down my face and I said " I love you Whitney" and then again, " I love you Whitney" and then my eyes opened. I thought about the vision and Whitney was gorgeous, she had beautifully done hair...flat ironed, her skin was flawless, as if she was wearing make-up, but wasn't. She was smaller in size and her face was glowing. This image, this interaction is very real to me, a gift from God. When Whitney left this earth I was standing at her bedside and these words were the words I used as she took her last breaths. God gave me a gift, I am so overjoyed to have that. I can look back at that and feel I had a final goodbye, until we see each other again moment. I called my mom that morning and told her every single detail and my mom said to me "That is what Whitney wore to the hospital when she came in!" I gasped, I hadn't seen Whitney as she was brought in or any of her belongings the entire time she was there. I ran out to my car, because everything we had accumulated at the hospital was still in there and I ripped open the bag and saw a grey hoodie and a blue shirt, the blue shirt I had seen her in. God gave me another gift and a message saying, yes it is for real! You weren't dreaming! I love Him for that!
I share this part of our journey, a intimate moment I had with my sister because it to me shows me how gracious and loving our God is. As I live in many moments with Christ and He walking right by my side, I feel like I have to share this with everyone. I want everyone to know God's love and the hope I have in Him. Whitney did die early to us, but she was right on time to Him. Whitney will forever be in our hearts and a treasured sister, daughter and friend. We miss her and we will continue to go about the lives God has planned for us. I will do what He asks of me and follow Him no matter what. Because more then anything I know our God is real, He is alive and in us...every day, every hour, every minute and every second.
I will still cry, because I don't know how not to, but one day the tears will be all about our reunion in heaven as opposed to our loss here on earth.
With eager hearts,
Whit' Sisters
Monday, April 11, 2011
Mercy Seat
The words mercy seat were ringing in my ears today. I googled those words and found one of my favorite songs Revelation Song---by Kari Lobe…I really meditated on the words and tried to focus my brain and hear what God is telling me. I continued to study and define what a mercy seat is---many definitions are out there, these stuck out to me the most---throne of God, resting place of God, blood sprinkled throne, Holy of Hollies, throne of grace and place of atonement.
These days continue to be very difficult and I find myself praying, meditating and seeking God in every aspect of everything I do. I can so see His glory in all of this. The pain is still deep and really stings, but the more I lean on Jesus and lay at the mercy seat, I am getting through each day.
As I sat listening to the lyrics of Revelation Song, I pictured myself singing to our Lord Jesus with my sister, she is right there singing praises to our king, the Lord of Lords. Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty!
I spoke over and over again all day about knowing the freedom, love and happiness Whitney is feeling right now. I know that she isn’t missing out on anything, we are missing her and feeling like she will miss out. She is having the time of her life, her life eternally in Heaven and with Jesus and many loved ones and I am filled with tears of joy for her.
In my human instinct I feel so very sad that we have another loved one gone, away from us and dealing with the reality and pain everyday is absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done. The hugs to my children who either understand in a very small way or not at all and helping them get through that grief is by far another hard part of this reality.
I pray and continue to ask God to show me the next step, the way to get through this day and I continue to love God, sing praises to Him and through Him I am getting through these days.
We all are grieving in our own way, but alike we are all leaning on Christ. As I know you will, continue to lift our family in prayer and keep us close to your heart as we continue to get through each day.
With much love,
Whit’s Sisters
“There rested upon the ark this solid plate of gold which was called the mercy seat. It is mentioned twenty-three times in the Old Testament, and in the New Testament it is taken up as referring to the Lord Jesus. It is so set forth in the Letter to the Hebrews. The mercy seat on the ark of the Old Testament is one other aspect of the glory and greatness of the Lord Jesus Christ.”
“…so that in the person of the high priest all the people of God were present, and there, at the mercy seat, God spoke and made Himself known to His people.”
“That is the mercy-seat, the steadfast love of God for His own. That is the greatness and glory of Jesus Christ; and surely we can speak of that as grace and glory. That is what Jesus Christ has been made unto us.”
"God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son", and God has set Him forth as a mercy seat. We shall never exhaust the wonderful fullness of this mercy seat! We find all the patience and the long-suffering and the forbearance of God in the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Whitney's Obituary
Whitney Taylor Jade Whitehead age 22, was taken to be with her Lord and Savior Jesus on April 3rd, 2011. Whitney had H1N1 and pneumonia and had spent 24 fighting days in ICU, until she could no longer fight the complications of this horrible sickness. Whitney was born on August 17th, 1988. She was a very special baby and such a blessing to her parents and sisters as well as countless family and friends. Whitney loved so much. She had a contagious giggle and was a very loving person. Whitney was a Nanny for Stefanie, her sister and she was in school, studying medical transcription, she was so close to finishing her degree. She will be deeply deeply missed. She is proceeded in death by her father, Scott Whitehead and survived by her mother Tracy Whitehead and her sisters---DeAnna (Aadam) Marshall, Stefanie Whitehead and Maddie Whitehead as well as her best friend who meant so much to her Katie Parker and her nieces and nephews, Rylee, Baylee, Corbin, Eli, Frankie, Isabelle and Presley and countless relatives. Whitney’s Celebration of Life service will be held on Thursday, April 14th at 1:00 pm at Bellingham CTK, 4173 Meridian Street in Bellingham, WA. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Whitney Whitehead donation account at any WECU, this account was created to cover her medical expenses. We thank you all for your loving words and constant prayers during this time.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Walk by faith, not by sight
Taking one day at a time...looking over the last few weeks, thinking about heaven and the joy Whitney feels and how happy she is in a place where she is healed and in the arms of Jesus. Everything is still very raw, this is still extremely hard. I lean more on Christ then I ever have in my entire life. We all are.
I went back to March 11th in the devotional Jesus Calling to see what was said on that day...a day we may have not understood what was about to happen and where our journey would take us in the very long days we went through while our Whitney was in ICU and then the weeks to come.
March 11th...Jesus Calling---WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT. As you take steps of faith, depending on Me, I will show you how much I can do for you. If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing Me work through you. When I gave you My Spirit, I empowered you to live beyond your natural ability and strength. That's why it is so wrong to measure your energy level against the challenges ahead of you. The issue is not your strength but mine, which is limitless. By walking close to Me, you can accomplish My purposes in My strength.
Our journey isn't even close to being over and wont be over until we are home with Jesus and where Whitney is...and then wow, that is really just the beginning...years ago when I had faced some medical trauma, I had been on a healing road myself, questioned the whys and for what reason's...I had read a book a friend had given me...in the words written, it had talked about the small amount of time we are really here on Earth and how much it is a dot a literal dot of time...and eternity is our heavenly home and even though I remained here on Earth and my journey still continues, I find comfort in knowing there is a place, our real home...and someday and someday soon I will see my sister, my dad and the many loved ones who went home before us.
This reality doesn't take away from the pain and grief we are all facing now and for however long, but there is so much more hope in our journey on Earth and forever more. Whitney will be forever in our hearts, always missed. We can also rejoice in her life eternal with Jesus and we will be joining her sometime soon.
Your loving prayers and Jesus' love are what is getting us through each day we are facing.
Our hearts still remain heavy, but hopeful at the same time.
Whit's Sisters
I went back to March 11th in the devotional Jesus Calling to see what was said on that day...a day we may have not understood what was about to happen and where our journey would take us in the very long days we went through while our Whitney was in ICU and then the weeks to come.
March 11th...Jesus Calling---WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT. As you take steps of faith, depending on Me, I will show you how much I can do for you. If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing Me work through you. When I gave you My Spirit, I empowered you to live beyond your natural ability and strength. That's why it is so wrong to measure your energy level against the challenges ahead of you. The issue is not your strength but mine, which is limitless. By walking close to Me, you can accomplish My purposes in My strength.
Our journey isn't even close to being over and wont be over until we are home with Jesus and where Whitney is...and then wow, that is really just the beginning...years ago when I had faced some medical trauma, I had been on a healing road myself, questioned the whys and for what reason's...I had read a book a friend had given me...in the words written, it had talked about the small amount of time we are really here on Earth and how much it is a dot a literal dot of time...and eternity is our heavenly home and even though I remained here on Earth and my journey still continues, I find comfort in knowing there is a place, our real home...and someday and someday soon I will see my sister, my dad and the many loved ones who went home before us.
This reality doesn't take away from the pain and grief we are all facing now and for however long, but there is so much more hope in our journey on Earth and forever more. Whitney will be forever in our hearts, always missed. We can also rejoice in her life eternal with Jesus and we will be joining her sometime soon.
Your loving prayers and Jesus' love are what is getting us through each day we are facing.
Our hearts still remain heavy, but hopeful at the same time.
Whit's Sisters
Monday, April 4, 2011
Heavy Hearts
Oh, I have such a heavy heart right now...I can only say I am sad and how much I don't understand... those are the only words I form, literally.
I know Whitney is in Heaven and she is happy, healthy and at peace and with her Jesus and our Dad. My faith hasn't changed, I believe in Jesus, believe everything has a place and a fit, just like a puzzle. I just feel such a heaviness for this deep deep pain. Losing Whitney was a bigger blow then losing Dad. It was like someone ripped the band-aid off, so quick---and it still stings.
Whitney will be deeply deeply missed, missed by so many. Your encouraging words and constant prayers are very healing and if I didn't walk this road with Jesus, I would be lost and could be in a different place mentally right now. There may be some of you who are following this journey and aren't believers, I urge you to take this time to really reflect where you are headed when your life here on earth is done. I know where I am headed, where Whitney is and her life and death can be an opportunity for Jesus to change yours.
They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved" Acts 16:31
"Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going." John 14:1 - 4
1-5For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we'll never have to relocate our "tents" again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move—and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what's coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we're tired of it! We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less.
2 Corinthians 5: 1-5 (The Message)
I am going to let God's word echo in my heavy heart awhile. Our family is deeply grieving and are going to be taking it one day at a time. We will continue to give you word on memorial happenings and all those details as they form.
With heavy hearts,
Whit's Sisters
I know Whitney is in Heaven and she is happy, healthy and at peace and with her Jesus and our Dad. My faith hasn't changed, I believe in Jesus, believe everything has a place and a fit, just like a puzzle. I just feel such a heaviness for this deep deep pain. Losing Whitney was a bigger blow then losing Dad. It was like someone ripped the band-aid off, so quick---and it still stings.
Whitney will be deeply deeply missed, missed by so many. Your encouraging words and constant prayers are very healing and if I didn't walk this road with Jesus, I would be lost and could be in a different place mentally right now. There may be some of you who are following this journey and aren't believers, I urge you to take this time to really reflect where you are headed when your life here on earth is done. I know where I am headed, where Whitney is and her life and death can be an opportunity for Jesus to change yours.
They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved" Acts 16:31
"Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going." John 14:1 - 4
1-5For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we'll never have to relocate our "tents" again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move—and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what's coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we're tired of it! We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less.
2 Corinthians 5: 1-5 (The Message)
I am going to let God's word echo in my heavy heart awhile. Our family is deeply grieving and are going to be taking it one day at a time. We will continue to give you word on memorial happenings and all those details as they form.
With heavy hearts,
Whit's Sisters
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Home with Jesus
Whitney fought the good fight, but Jesus took her home. We thank you for all your prayers and support!
God Heals
Wow what a morning this has been. We had gotten word from the doctors that Whitney had a shadowy something in her lungs, the doctors were going to do another x-ray to determine what exactly it was, they had thought it was most likely a hole in her lung. They had a conversation with mom about putting a tube in her lung if that was the case... Immediately I sent out the call for prayers and praise the Lord the second x-ray came back with nothing!
This road is hard, it is long and the ups and downs are a challenge. Whitney's numbers and stats remain stable, she continues to defy all the odds and baffle these doctors. Our hope, faith and everything we have remain focused on Christ, His words and His truth.
We have no idea what will happen, where this road ends. There are days that we honestly feel encouraged and blessed and days we are a puddle of tears. We know are God heals, His word is healing, We hear Him in everything.
Your prayers, encouraging words and your love for Whitney and our family is so precious to all of us.
Pray pray pray!
Love to you all,
Whit's Sisters
This road is hard, it is long and the ups and downs are a challenge. Whitney's numbers and stats remain stable, she continues to defy all the odds and baffle these doctors. Our hope, faith and everything we have remain focused on Christ, His words and His truth.
We have no idea what will happen, where this road ends. There are days that we honestly feel encouraged and blessed and days we are a puddle of tears. We know are God heals, His word is healing, We hear Him in everything.
Your prayers, encouraging words and your love for Whitney and our family is so precious to all of us.
Pray pray pray!
Love to you all,
Whit's Sisters
Friday, April 1, 2011
Radical Truth
It is truly amazing what God is doing right now! He is very much in control and taking over room #346! We had resigned to the idea that we wouldn't get words of praise from Whit's doctors and nurses and Praise Jesus, we have Dr. Lam back on evenings and a wonderful nurse today...both of them today were positive and encouraging. With that being said, we had determined yesterday after a very difficult meeting with one of Whitney's doctors and where they were heading that we would only look to God, the Great Physician from here on out. We are very versed on the numbers and stats and with a quick sweep with my eyes I can determine where she is at in seconds. All day her numbers on her oxygen were coming down, her blood gas exchange was in the 90's and for some powerful awesome news...her mean airway (the number that was once 36 and needed to be at 24 to get onto the new vent) number was 28! 28 people!!!! Only Jesus can give those numbers! What a turn around...yesterday, this crazy doc is talking about terminating care and we declared Jesus would heal her and boom! Radical Truth!
I don't think I can really convey how much we feel your prayers! We thank you for lifting Whitney in Jesus name, we thank you for supporting us and praying for our strength during this time! You are all beautiful people! Please continue to pray these numbers move and that the various infections, that were once a secondary issue are able to start repairing themselves so her body can focus on healing the virus still raging in her!
Praise Jesus!
“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
With eager hearts,
Whit's Sisters
I don't think I can really convey how much we feel your prayers! We thank you for lifting Whitney in Jesus name, we thank you for supporting us and praying for our strength during this time! You are all beautiful people! Please continue to pray these numbers move and that the various infections, that were once a secondary issue are able to start repairing themselves so her body can focus on healing the virus still raging in her!
Praise Jesus!
“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
With eager hearts,
Whit's Sisters
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Roller Coaster
We have been told that this journey would be a roller coaster, many health care professionals as well as people who have gone through a similar journey as well.
I googled roller coasters to gather a definition to help convey the roller coaster we have been on the last 3 weeks...one google point described it as ---"Going from the bottom to the top of a wave and then back down." and "anything characterized by abrupt and extreme changes, especially up and down" and lastly "When your emotions go up and down like a roller coaster. For example, you keep slipping in between happiness and sadness"
Whitney has been holding on and fighting. We are optimistic she will continue to climb up this steep mountain...she had made it at least 1/4 of the way before she fell back down again. I believe through the power of prayer and with God's healing hands she will get back up the mountain. We are taking it one day at a time again. Waiting on God to heal Whitney. I believe with my whole heart that Whitney will be healed, but in my human way want so desperately to just see her better now...and am trying to bargain with God. I hear the words "Whitney will be healed, but in My time" constantly...I hope and pray those are God's words to me and not me saying them to myself. Anyone who has gone through something this tough can understand the conversations in the mind, the heart and with Christ.
Pray for our peace as a family and for endurance. The heatlh care professionals aren't uplifting at all and Satan is finding many joy stealer's to do his work! Thank you for the encouraging words, uplifting prayers and the constant reminders that God is with us and God is in control!
With eager hearts,
Whit's Sisters
I googled roller coasters to gather a definition to help convey the roller coaster we have been on the last 3 weeks...one google point described it as ---"Going from the bottom to the top of a wave and then back down." and "anything characterized by abrupt and extreme changes, especially up and down" and lastly "When your emotions go up and down like a roller coaster. For example, you keep slipping in between happiness and sadness"
Whitney has been holding on and fighting. We are optimistic she will continue to climb up this steep mountain...she had made it at least 1/4 of the way before she fell back down again. I believe through the power of prayer and with God's healing hands she will get back up the mountain. We are taking it one day at a time again. Waiting on God to heal Whitney. I believe with my whole heart that Whitney will be healed, but in my human way want so desperately to just see her better now...and am trying to bargain with God. I hear the words "Whitney will be healed, but in My time" constantly...I hope and pray those are God's words to me and not me saying them to myself. Anyone who has gone through something this tough can understand the conversations in the mind, the heart and with Christ.
Pray for our peace as a family and for endurance. The heatlh care professionals aren't uplifting at all and Satan is finding many joy stealer's to do his work! Thank you for the encouraging words, uplifting prayers and the constant reminders that God is with us and God is in control!
With eager hearts,
Whit's Sisters
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Acts of Compassion
In the last few days some real encouraging "stuff" has been happening...Whitney's numbers improved as reported on Sunday and we are still riding that same wave. She hasn't really moved from those numbers yet, however the encouraging part of all of this is how much we have learned to TRUST. For us we have learned the intricate details of the stats, numbers and the ups and downs of it all, but more importantly we have learned to trust. God has been quieting our hearts and asking us to just listen, breath and wait. And that is all we are doing right now...and praying.
The word compassion has been bumping around in my head all day. I hear it loud and clear in songs, in verses, in text messages from friends and family...Compassion----"Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it."
We sooooo feel your compassion. It doesn't take much to encourage us and we get lots of calls, texts and cards and they are so encouraging. We even have people in to talk with us or better yet pray over Whitney! These acts of compassion fuel us and keep us encouraged and keep our focus on Christ and how much he loves us. It is wonderful to receive hugs and even kisses...and for those of you who know me personally you know I am not so touchy feely, but it feels so wonderful to be cared for. We can't do this on our own, we need our friends and family to love with us, pray with us and we know you are standing in the gap for us.
It is truly a miracle that Whitney hasn't gone septic, had a hole(s) put into her lungs with the big ventilator, had kidney failure or any organ failure at that. It is a miracle that she just has pneumonia and H1N1, which she continues to fight fight fight! Her body is working and getting rid of this virus as quick as she can, she is tolerating all the movement and changes they do to her daily and sometimes a few times a day. She is building up the strength to get onto the conventional ventilator. Our prayers are still for that! She is still sedated, paralyzed and on a lot of meds and with this new ventilator some of that will change and we should be able to talk to her again very soon. This conventional ventilator used at a certain level will allow us to speak to her, she will undergo a Tracheotomy---"consists of making an incision on the anterior aspect of the neck and opening a direct airway through an incision in the trachea. The resulting stoma can serve independently as an airway or as a site for a tracheotomy tube to be inserted; this tube allows a person to breathe without the use of his or her nose or mouth." This sounds horrific, but in reality the machine she is on is far worse for her...baby steps all the way and praying she continues to take them!
We trust and we know our God loves us and He love Whitney too!
With eager hearts,
Whit's Sisters
The word compassion has been bumping around in my head all day. I hear it loud and clear in songs, in verses, in text messages from friends and family...Compassion----"Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it."
We sooooo feel your compassion. It doesn't take much to encourage us and we get lots of calls, texts and cards and they are so encouraging. We even have people in to talk with us or better yet pray over Whitney! These acts of compassion fuel us and keep us encouraged and keep our focus on Christ and how much he loves us. It is wonderful to receive hugs and even kisses...and for those of you who know me personally you know I am not so touchy feely, but it feels so wonderful to be cared for. We can't do this on our own, we need our friends and family to love with us, pray with us and we know you are standing in the gap for us.
It is truly a miracle that Whitney hasn't gone septic, had a hole(s) put into her lungs with the big ventilator, had kidney failure or any organ failure at that. It is a miracle that she just has pneumonia and H1N1, which she continues to fight fight fight! Her body is working and getting rid of this virus as quick as she can, she is tolerating all the movement and changes they do to her daily and sometimes a few times a day. She is building up the strength to get onto the conventional ventilator. Our prayers are still for that! She is still sedated, paralyzed and on a lot of meds and with this new ventilator some of that will change and we should be able to talk to her again very soon. This conventional ventilator used at a certain level will allow us to speak to her, she will undergo a Tracheotomy---"consists of making an incision on the anterior aspect of the neck and opening a direct airway through an incision in the trachea. The resulting stoma can serve independently as an airway or as a site for a tracheotomy tube to be inserted; this tube allows a person to breathe without the use of his or her nose or mouth." This sounds horrific, but in reality the machine she is on is far worse for her...baby steps all the way and praying she continues to take them!
We trust and we know our God loves us and He love Whitney too!
With eager hearts,
Whit's Sisters
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Why? For what reason?
This day was peaceful, even before we all woke. With the heaviness behind us, we all went about this day with a peaceful, optimistic and trusting walk. When mom arrived to the hospital this morning we got some good good news. Whitney had a great night last night and went through the day with some great numbers, she is even more closer then she has been to getting on the new ventilator! Thank you Jesus for your blessings!
It is hard to really explain what a ICU waiting room does to people and how complete strangers, who maybe are believers or maybe aren't have a common bond and can feel each others deep pain. We all have different circumstances that bring us to the ICU waiting room, but in the end they know some of your deepest hurts, see your biggest fears and for that you cant change that relationship. We have been able to develop special relationships with some very special people.
The common conversation that comes up in the quietness of this room is Why? For what reason? Interesting enough many families we have had the pleasure of meeting have had some very deep and heartfelt conversations with us and us with them. Some have been fellow believers. To share our joys and pains has been more of a journey we weren't even prepared for. We have come to cherish the ups for other patients and their family members and feel the gut wrenching pain when someone loses someone as well.
I have over analyzed many reasons for why this has happened and I can't help but be reminded of the Father we know and how blessed we are and how miraculous His love is for us and oh, how much His glory is being seen by so many people, those who walk with Christ and those who don't.
If my sister has do go through this brutal illness to see a few more souls in heaven...then so be it. Right? Isn't that what it is all about? I know my sister will be healed, I know God will be the one to do it, but if someone can be saved through her story of survival and miraculous healing then it is all worth it, including the ups and downs and the pain we her family are going through.
I will never be able to convey how healing our God is more then you seeing how healing our God is. He is mighty to save! He is alive in us! May Whitney's story and how amazing it is be a constant reminder of how great and mighty our God is and how much He loves us, He loves us so much that He sent his son to die for us...so we will be free, live a life in eternity, how cool is that! How amazing is that!
Thank you for your continued prayers and the continual support!
With eager hearts,
Whit's Sisters
It is hard to really explain what a ICU waiting room does to people and how complete strangers, who maybe are believers or maybe aren't have a common bond and can feel each others deep pain. We all have different circumstances that bring us to the ICU waiting room, but in the end they know some of your deepest hurts, see your biggest fears and for that you cant change that relationship. We have been able to develop special relationships with some very special people.
The common conversation that comes up in the quietness of this room is Why? For what reason? Interesting enough many families we have had the pleasure of meeting have had some very deep and heartfelt conversations with us and us with them. Some have been fellow believers. To share our joys and pains has been more of a journey we weren't even prepared for. We have come to cherish the ups for other patients and their family members and feel the gut wrenching pain when someone loses someone as well.
I have over analyzed many reasons for why this has happened and I can't help but be reminded of the Father we know and how blessed we are and how miraculous His love is for us and oh, how much His glory is being seen by so many people, those who walk with Christ and those who don't.
If my sister has do go through this brutal illness to see a few more souls in heaven...then so be it. Right? Isn't that what it is all about? I know my sister will be healed, I know God will be the one to do it, but if someone can be saved through her story of survival and miraculous healing then it is all worth it, including the ups and downs and the pain we her family are going through.
I will never be able to convey how healing our God is more then you seeing how healing our God is. He is mighty to save! He is alive in us! May Whitney's story and how amazing it is be a constant reminder of how great and mighty our God is and how much He loves us, He loves us so much that He sent his son to die for us...so we will be free, live a life in eternity, how cool is that! How amazing is that!
Thank you for your continued prayers and the continual support!
With eager hearts,
Whit's Sisters
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Heavy----continued
Last night as I typed out the words to "Heavy" it almost didn't even feel complete, I was so tired and spent on the events of the day, but due to my ocd sort of way, I had to blog...I post every other day and I had to do it...as the words flowed out of me, parts didn't feel even worth mentioning...my husband even commented on how honest it was...I dragged myself to bed...my feet and legs were so heavy and my feet were even swollen...as I woke this morning I knew I hadn't just felt a heaviness in my soul, I had physically felt it yesterday and it had physically made me tired and more weaker then all the days prior. God was sooooooo showing me how much I need Him and how much I need to give Him everything...EVERYTHING, nothing less. Man I can be so stubborn.
Today my mom read me the devotional from Jesus Calling----"Waiting on Me means directing your attention to Me in hopeful anticipation of what I will do. It entails trusting Me with every fiber of your being, instead of trying to figure things out yourself. Waiting on Me is the way I designed you to live: all day, every day. I created you to stay conscious of Me as you go about your daily duties. I have promised many blessings to those who wait on Me: renewed strength, living above one's circumstances, resurgence of hope, awareness of My continual Presence. Waiting on Me enables you to glorify Me by living in deep dependence on Me, ready to do My will. It also helps you to enjoy Me; in My Presence is fullness of Joy."
I could hear Jesus speaking to me as well with a little Third Day----Revelation----Come On Let Me Love You
Yesterday you found your heart was broken
Tomorrow doesn't leave much room for hope
Today you found in my arms are wide open
My heart is full of love
Come on let Me love you now
Come on let Me love you
And hold you through the storm
I will keep you safe and warm
Come on let Me love you now
Come on let Me love you and kiss away your tears
I will always be here
Come on let Me love you
These words spoke volumes to my heart. Today my family and I are going to walk with certainty that God is in control, He is taking care of Whitney and we will be waiting on Him the great Physician, our Lord, our Savior and our Healer!
Amen
Today my mom read me the devotional from Jesus Calling----"Waiting on Me means directing your attention to Me in hopeful anticipation of what I will do. It entails trusting Me with every fiber of your being, instead of trying to figure things out yourself. Waiting on Me is the way I designed you to live: all day, every day. I created you to stay conscious of Me as you go about your daily duties. I have promised many blessings to those who wait on Me: renewed strength, living above one's circumstances, resurgence of hope, awareness of My continual Presence. Waiting on Me enables you to glorify Me by living in deep dependence on Me, ready to do My will. It also helps you to enjoy Me; in My Presence is fullness of Joy."
I could hear Jesus speaking to me as well with a little Third Day----Revelation----Come On Let Me Love You
Yesterday you found your heart was broken
Tomorrow doesn't leave much room for hope
Today you found in my arms are wide open
My heart is full of love
Come on let Me love you now
Come on let Me love you
And hold you through the storm
I will keep you safe and warm
Come on let Me love you now
Come on let Me love you and kiss away your tears
I will always be here
Come on let Me love you
These words spoke volumes to my heart. Today my family and I are going to walk with certainty that God is in control, He is taking care of Whitney and we will be waiting on Him the great Physician, our Lord, our Savior and our Healer!
Amen
Heavy
As I sit hear eager to tell you all about the news of the evening and how uplifting it is, I feel like a heaviness was on me today. My mom had said the exact same words to me as well today. I know as I type these words why my day was so heavy and I know I needed to ask Jesus to take these heavy heavy burdens from me, but for some reason I was feeling too weak to just ask and honestly I didn’t want to even let them go. My heart aches for Whitney to be healed, it all feels so surreal still. We have gone through a lot of tough stuff in our family and losing Dad was extremely hard and I didn’t think that pain could be topped, but seeing your sister hooked up to machines and waiting on the Lord to heal her has been a bigger heart ache then we were ever prepared for. We remain optimistic and eager to see when and how God heals Whit.
Whitney has been riding the waves, not making any splashes good and not good in days…that should feel encouraging right? Whitney is still on the biggest, baddest ventilator and they are slowly lowering her off the paralyzing meds and sedation meds. She has made miles of improvement over the last two weeks, but in order for her to get anywhere she needs to get off this ventilator. Our prayers are still for her numbers to get to where they need to be so they can get her on a better and less invasive ventilator, one that works with her breathing more.
This is the uplifting news to report…one of Whit’s doctors has pushed and got Whit approved to take a new drug that is 70-90% effective for fighting this nasty illness. It isn’t FDA approved in liquid form, but it’s powder form is. Mom was very educated by the doctor and we are praying that this drug is what Whitney needs to have for a full recovery.
This drug is in transport right now, flying somewhere over the deep blue and should arrive by morning. Praying the meds work and her numbers start to come down to where they need to be and we turn a corner! Our hearts need a little pick-me up!
Thank you for your continued prayers and comforting words. We appreciate all the love that we have been given. Say some extra prayers for the achy hearts we have been feeling today! There has been an account set up at all Whatcom Educational Credit Unions for anyone wanting to contribute to the expenses during this time...it is under Whitney Whitehead Donation Account. Thank you again for all the support and prayers for our family.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
13 days---321 hours---18,720 minutes
Time stands still on the third floor in ICU waiting…you are in another world up there. Hours and hours, days upon days seem to be lost…literally. It is day # 13 for Whitney. She has made some baby steps and the doctors are finally feeling encouraged by this…we have been abundantly encouraged by the small steps all along, but it feels even more of a momentous event when the doctors feel encouraged…it gets mentally exhausting to hear the words “she is really really sick” and “we have done all we can” so often.
In the last two days our nursing staff and doctors have made more of a impact with us for the better and even when all our prayers are focused on Whitney and for her healing, God still hears the cries of our hearts. He blesses us with a great night nurse. A parking spot you can find right away rather then 20 minutes later… I know this sounds very silly, but time is precious, even though it doesn’t move very fast on the third floor. I can very much see God’s hands all over, even in these small details. I have never seen God more in my entire life. My prayers are simple, in fact I don’t even form sentences anymore…all I say is words like--- heal, save, give, need, please…In fact I don’t even pray for anything other then my sister anymore.
Satan continues to send joy stealers to steal our joy, but we keep sending him back to where he came from. We are so aware of how Satan is trying to destroy our spirits and take away our joy.
We are continuing to pray specifically for Whitney to accept the new ventilator; she needs to be on this new one…like yesterday. The ventilator with every day she is on it, is very harmful to her lungs and even though it is giving her life it is also causing a lot of damage. We are praying her “numbers” get to the right place for them to try again and she finally accepts it. This step is so critical to her healing and taking any more baby steps. She really can’t go anywhere else without being on this new ventilator. Your continued prayers for her healing are very appreciated, thank you for your diligence and specific prayers for Whitney. We are enthralled with the overwhelming response to our family’s needs and the enormous support given. Many Blessings!
With eager hearts,
Whit’s Sisters
Monday, March 21, 2011
"What does that mean?"
“What does that mean?”
That is a popular question today…
My mom and us girls have had a real education about medicines, ventilators, blood pressure, feeding tubes and everything hooked up to Whit. Sometimes when we reply to a message or you see something on facebook you don’t always understand fully what we are talking about. I thought maybe a few descriptions and visual aides would help you all to understand what is happening with Whitney.
Whitney is stable right now, which means her numbers---blood pressure, sedation, blood gas, fluids, etc. are where the doctors and nurses feel it is best right now. She is still maintaining a ventilator number of about 70%, which means she is breathing 30% on her own and the vent is doing the rest. It doesn’t sound like a great number, but when you pair it with all the other things hooked up to her and they are stable, it means she is doing well. Whitney’s numbers last week were about the same, but as they moved her in her bed, did her breathing treatments and gave her meds, she would crash (where her numbers would go down and she is back up to 100% on the vent) every time… we had too many doctor conversations that ended with “we have done all we can”…those words are very daunting and hopeless and mixed with ups and downs from stable to unstable…it was feeling very very troublesome.
Whitney has been moved in her bed, had meds changed up and had her sheets/bed changed in the last two days and she hasn’t had a crash yet. She bounces back and or doesn’t even change when they do move her, change meds and change her sheets. Those are the baby steps she has taken, and I only mean it metaphorically…she is not able to walk or talk. Whitney is still on the ventilator, which means she isn’t able to speak, she is paralyzed and is heavily sedated. They need her to be in that state so she doesn’t remove her feeding and ventilator tubes.
There are lots of tubes, medicines, blinking lights and procedures happening to her daily, hourly and nearly every minute…however with all the medical “stuff” happening to her, we know one thing is clear. Our God is the one healing her and sustaining her life right now. We know that God has a clear design for what is happening with Whitney and we are faithful to see Him through. We have complete trust in Him and therefore we have complete trust in Whitney’s doctors and nurses. We are overwhelmed with the response to pray for Whitney and are overjoyed with how many loyal Christ followers have lifted our family up in prayer. We so appreciate the diligence and continued prayers for Whitney’s healing.
With eager hearts,
Whit’s Sisters
Saturday, March 19, 2011
The JOY of the Lord is your STRENGTH
In the last 24 hours we have found JOY...Whitney remains critical, she is still at the bottom of the hill, but our joy, hope and everything we have is found in Christ and the peace He gives us. We have had an outpouring of love and support, so many prayers spoken over Whitney and our family. The ICU waiting room is bursting with laughter and smiles. A few days ago, we didn't have a tear left in us. What has changed? We have found something that a lot of people crave and never find and we found it in the midst of sorrow and pain... Nehemiah 8:10 says, "The JOY of the Lord is your STRENGTH" and that abundantly applies to us today.
With all the joy, prayers, wonderful people coming into the hospital and praying, feeding us and just being there to support us...there has also been some joy stealer's along the road this week. A wise friend of ours said something I just knew came from Jesus the moment she said it...she said " Satan senses a Victory and will pull out all the stops to steal our Joy" I felt like saying duh! Wow, that rocked my thoughts and Satan will not steal my joy any longer!
I found this today and it so applies to what we have learned today..."So, I encourage you, don't let the devil defeat you by stealing your joy. Remember, that when you have no joy, you have no strength, and that's when Satan can come in and rob you of everything you have. Satan has no refuge when JOY is present. THE JOY OF THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH!" - Dr. Jerry Savelle
Whitney needs us to be strong, to have joy so we may have strength! Thank you for your prayers, we are continuing to pray that she accepts the new ventilator when it is time for them to try again. We are also praying her numbers start coming up and she starts taking some baby steps up this mountain. We are very blessed to have so many churches and people praying for our family. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!
With all the joy, prayers, wonderful people coming into the hospital and praying, feeding us and just being there to support us...there has also been some joy stealer's along the road this week. A wise friend of ours said something I just knew came from Jesus the moment she said it...she said " Satan senses a Victory and will pull out all the stops to steal our Joy" I felt like saying duh! Wow, that rocked my thoughts and Satan will not steal my joy any longer!
I found this today and it so applies to what we have learned today..."So, I encourage you, don't let the devil defeat you by stealing your joy. Remember, that when you have no joy, you have no strength, and that's when Satan can come in and rob you of everything you have. Satan has no refuge when JOY is present. THE JOY OF THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH!" - Dr. Jerry Savelle
Whitney needs us to be strong, to have joy so we may have strength! Thank you for your prayers, we are continuing to pray that she accepts the new ventilator when it is time for them to try again. We are also praying her numbers start coming up and she starts taking some baby steps up this mountain. We are very blessed to have so many churches and people praying for our family. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Perspective----a way of regarding situations, facts, etc, and judging their relative importance
Perspective is a great way to express what the last week has been like for Whit's family, friends and faithful prayer warriors!
This week has taught us a lot about perspective...I never really understood what a ventilator did or really what it is...last week, had someone told me "so and so was on that machine" I would have not really grasped what it is or how the machine even worked.
A ventilator, and this definition only will give you a better understanding for what is happening with Whitney...
... uses pressure to blow air or a mixture of gases (like oxygen and air) into the lungs. This pressure is known as positive pressure. You usually exhale (breathe out) the air on your own, but sometimes the ventilator does this for you too. A ventilator can be set to "breathe" a set number of times a minute. Sometimes it's set so that you can trigger the machine to blow air into your lungs. But, if you fail to trigger it within a certain amount of time, the machine automatically blows air to keep you breathing.
Right now the night before her nearly week long stay, she is 100% on this Ventilator, meaning she isn't able to trigger it herself and it is blowing 100% oxygen into her lungs, she has gone as far down as 55% and then gone back up to 100% over this last week. Her week has been a roller coaster ride, baby steps of progress one day to back at the bottom of the hill the next.
It has been an emotional week, but with all the emotion and bumps in the road our perspective of life, choices and what we normally take for granted have changed.
Whitney will have a huge mountain to climb and I am confident she will make the climb to the top! The prayers and loving support have been beyond a blessing to all of us. We thank you for praying and then praying even harder!
Whitney is a fighter and she is fighting very very hard! Please keep my mom in your prayers as this day along with so many more to come have been very difficult. We are praying for a miracle and know only Jesus can grant it. God's plans don't change just because we don't like what is happening. We believe nothing just happens for no reason at all, we know Christ has a purpose and we lean on Christ to show us the way.
With eager hearts,
Whit's Sisters
This week has taught us a lot about perspective...I never really understood what a ventilator did or really what it is...last week, had someone told me "so and so was on that machine" I would have not really grasped what it is or how the machine even worked.
A ventilator, and this definition only will give you a better understanding for what is happening with Whitney...
... uses pressure to blow air or a mixture of gases (like oxygen and air) into the lungs. This pressure is known as positive pressure. You usually exhale (breathe out) the air on your own, but sometimes the ventilator does this for you too. A ventilator can be set to "breathe" a set number of times a minute. Sometimes it's set so that you can trigger the machine to blow air into your lungs. But, if you fail to trigger it within a certain amount of time, the machine automatically blows air to keep you breathing.
Right now the night before her nearly week long stay, she is 100% on this Ventilator, meaning she isn't able to trigger it herself and it is blowing 100% oxygen into her lungs, she has gone as far down as 55% and then gone back up to 100% over this last week. Her week has been a roller coaster ride, baby steps of progress one day to back at the bottom of the hill the next.
It has been an emotional week, but with all the emotion and bumps in the road our perspective of life, choices and what we normally take for granted have changed.
Whitney will have a huge mountain to climb and I am confident she will make the climb to the top! The prayers and loving support have been beyond a blessing to all of us. We thank you for praying and then praying even harder!
Whitney is a fighter and she is fighting very very hard! Please keep my mom in your prayers as this day along with so many more to come have been very difficult. We are praying for a miracle and know only Jesus can grant it. God's plans don't change just because we don't like what is happening. We believe nothing just happens for no reason at all, we know Christ has a purpose and we lean on Christ to show us the way.
With eager hearts,
Whit's Sisters
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