For those of you interested in continuing to read my blog and updates on my journey, I have started my own blog here http://whiteheadmarshall.blogspot.com I feel like Words of Whit started for Whitney and was our voice as a family during her hospitalization and then it was our voice when she passed away and the brutal reality as we lost our daughter and beloved sister. The pain and sadness is still very real and we are all very much in grief over her death, but each one of us has our own journey. What was once one voice has now evolved into many voices. I will post on Words of Whit as we feel led to share with you as we journey through this as a family. I welcome you to follow my blog at the above blogspot.
Be Back Later,
Whit's Sisters
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Love and Thanks
Yesterday I filled my lap with over 200+ cards given to our family over the course of the last month. I hadn't made the time to read all of them yet and yesterday I did...
In the last month the pain and heartache have made it overwhelming to do anything, even shower, get the mail and tend to our houses. I know that depression and grief take over your body with a weight that is so heavy you feel like you are carrying bricks on your back, feet, legs and arms. Emotional loss takes a toll on you physically period.
My mom didn't know how she would write all the thank-yous to many people for contributing to Whitney's Medical Expenses account. We would like to take the time to thank everyone personally, but it is a task in itself to even speak to people and form words, let alone writing a heartfelt thanks to each one of you for your generosity. But eventually we will get there and we so appreciate the kindness shown to our family in this deep deep loss.
The common thread between every sympathy card we received was simply put..."there are no words for this deep loss, I am so sorry" Those are the most simple and well received words, because that is how we all feel.
Our family is in a time of healing and we are very thankful for the continued prayers for our family. We take one day at a time. Some days I choose to wear make-up and it stays on all day, no gut wrenching tears that day...then other days, it comes like a blow to the gut and we are sobbing for hours and I resemble Tammy Fay Baker!
We want all of you to know we are so grateful for your love, support, kind words and generosity shown to us. It is overwhelming to receive all of it. We thank you for the bottom of our hearts. Many Blessings to all of you.
With Love,
Whit's Sisters
In the last month the pain and heartache have made it overwhelming to do anything, even shower, get the mail and tend to our houses. I know that depression and grief take over your body with a weight that is so heavy you feel like you are carrying bricks on your back, feet, legs and arms. Emotional loss takes a toll on you physically period.
My mom didn't know how she would write all the thank-yous to many people for contributing to Whitney's Medical Expenses account. We would like to take the time to thank everyone personally, but it is a task in itself to even speak to people and form words, let alone writing a heartfelt thanks to each one of you for your generosity. But eventually we will get there and we so appreciate the kindness shown to our family in this deep deep loss.
The common thread between every sympathy card we received was simply put..."there are no words for this deep loss, I am so sorry" Those are the most simple and well received words, because that is how we all feel.
Our family is in a time of healing and we are very thankful for the continued prayers for our family. We take one day at a time. Some days I choose to wear make-up and it stays on all day, no gut wrenching tears that day...then other days, it comes like a blow to the gut and we are sobbing for hours and I resemble Tammy Fay Baker!
We want all of you to know we are so grateful for your love, support, kind words and generosity shown to us. It is overwhelming to receive all of it. We thank you for the bottom of our hearts. Many Blessings to all of you.
With Love,
Whit's Sisters
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Thinking of Heaven
1 Peter 1:3-5 (The Message)
A New Life
3-5What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we've been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you'll have it all—life healed and whole.Today as it marks a month since Whitney has been taken to be with Jesus, I fill my thoughts and energy in being reminded of her resting place. We all miss her and are still very much sad, heart brokenly sad, there isn't a day that goes by that we don't mourn. I find myself wanting and desiring to know all there is to know about her home now, I know and have heard many wonderful things about heaven and I know that is where I will go when I leave this earth, but Whitney's death has definitely made me crave that knowledge even more.
When our Dad died, it was different, we still miss him, we still wish he was here, but he had lived a life and in his life he had experienced many things. He had a wife, our mom for nearly 33 years and 4 kids and 4 grand kids at the time. We had time to tell him what we wanted to tell him, to live the last days to the fullest. Whitney was so young and we all had our own ideas as well as herself of what her future held. Those life goals have been changed, erased from our futures, that is a hard reality to let go of.
Her giggle is fading from my memory, I try so very hard to hear it, but it is so quiet. I still see her and her smile sitting on the couch, holding and feeding one of the twins. The image I carry is precious to me as well as this powerful memory. The day after my sister had passed in the early morning on April 4th between 6 am- 6:30 am, with a night of no rest, I closed my eyes. I saw the hospital room where Whitney had been for 24 days. The room was really empty, there wasn't any machines or doctors or nurses. Aadam my husband was sitting in the corner, his head was down, I assumed he was praying. To the back of me there was a nurse with long grey hair, she was wearing blue scrubs and going through some orders. I was standing with Whitney, she was on a chair, a hospital reclining chair in place of where her bed was...She was wearing a blue shirt, her favorite shirt and the favorite color of blue she loved. I was helping her put her grey hoodie sweatshirt on. These details are very important to me in sharing this experience with all of you. I had Whitney's hoodie in my hands and was helping her put her arm into the sleeve. I had said to her "Whitney you know where you are going, right?", Whitney looked away, I could see some tears and sadness in her eyes, but I could see it was because of my pain. She shook her head, I didn't really give her time to respond before I said " You are going to be with Jesus and Daddy!", She smiled and then we hugged, a big and long hug. Whitney said, "mmmm, you smell good" and then she reached out to bite me! (if you know Whitney well, you know she was goofy like that, I was so yummy smelling that she wanted to taste it) I looked at her and smiled, tears rolling down my face and I said " I love you Whitney" and then again, " I love you Whitney" and then my eyes opened. I thought about the vision and Whitney was gorgeous, she had beautifully done hair...flat ironed, her skin was flawless, as if she was wearing make-up, but wasn't. She was smaller in size and her face was glowing. This image, this interaction is very real to me, a gift from God. When Whitney left this earth I was standing at her bedside and these words were the words I used as she took her last breaths. God gave me a gift, I am so overjoyed to have that. I can look back at that and feel I had a final goodbye, until we see each other again moment. I called my mom that morning and told her every single detail and my mom said to me "That is what Whitney wore to the hospital when she came in!" I gasped, I hadn't seen Whitney as she was brought in or any of her belongings the entire time she was there. I ran out to my car, because everything we had accumulated at the hospital was still in there and I ripped open the bag and saw a grey hoodie and a blue shirt, the blue shirt I had seen her in. God gave me another gift and a message saying, yes it is for real! You weren't dreaming! I love Him for that!
I share this part of our journey, a intimate moment I had with my sister because it to me shows me how gracious and loving our God is. As I live in many moments with Christ and He walking right by my side, I feel like I have to share this with everyone. I want everyone to know God's love and the hope I have in Him. Whitney did die early to us, but she was right on time to Him. Whitney will forever be in our hearts and a treasured sister, daughter and friend. We miss her and we will continue to go about the lives God has planned for us. I will do what He asks of me and follow Him no matter what. Because more then anything I know our God is real, He is alive and in us...every day, every hour, every minute and every second.
I will still cry, because I don't know how not to, but one day the tears will be all about our reunion in heaven as opposed to our loss here on earth.
With eager hearts,
Whit' Sisters
Monday, April 11, 2011
Mercy Seat
The words mercy seat were ringing in my ears today. I googled those words and found one of my favorite songs Revelation Song---by Kari Lobe…I really meditated on the words and tried to focus my brain and hear what God is telling me. I continued to study and define what a mercy seat is---many definitions are out there, these stuck out to me the most---throne of God, resting place of God, blood sprinkled throne, Holy of Hollies, throne of grace and place of atonement.
These days continue to be very difficult and I find myself praying, meditating and seeking God in every aspect of everything I do. I can so see His glory in all of this. The pain is still deep and really stings, but the more I lean on Jesus and lay at the mercy seat, I am getting through each day.
As I sat listening to the lyrics of Revelation Song, I pictured myself singing to our Lord Jesus with my sister, she is right there singing praises to our king, the Lord of Lords. Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty!
I spoke over and over again all day about knowing the freedom, love and happiness Whitney is feeling right now. I know that she isn’t missing out on anything, we are missing her and feeling like she will miss out. She is having the time of her life, her life eternally in Heaven and with Jesus and many loved ones and I am filled with tears of joy for her.
In my human instinct I feel so very sad that we have another loved one gone, away from us and dealing with the reality and pain everyday is absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done. The hugs to my children who either understand in a very small way or not at all and helping them get through that grief is by far another hard part of this reality.
I pray and continue to ask God to show me the next step, the way to get through this day and I continue to love God, sing praises to Him and through Him I am getting through these days.
We all are grieving in our own way, but alike we are all leaning on Christ. As I know you will, continue to lift our family in prayer and keep us close to your heart as we continue to get through each day.
With much love,
Whit’s Sisters
“There rested upon the ark this solid plate of gold which was called the mercy seat. It is mentioned twenty-three times in the Old Testament, and in the New Testament it is taken up as referring to the Lord Jesus. It is so set forth in the Letter to the Hebrews. The mercy seat on the ark of the Old Testament is one other aspect of the glory and greatness of the Lord Jesus Christ.”
“…so that in the person of the high priest all the people of God were present, and there, at the mercy seat, God spoke and made Himself known to His people.”
“That is the mercy-seat, the steadfast love of God for His own. That is the greatness and glory of Jesus Christ; and surely we can speak of that as grace and glory. That is what Jesus Christ has been made unto us.”
"God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son", and God has set Him forth as a mercy seat. We shall never exhaust the wonderful fullness of this mercy seat! We find all the patience and the long-suffering and the forbearance of God in the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Whitney's Obituary
Whitney Taylor Jade Whitehead age 22, was taken to be with her Lord and Savior Jesus on April 3rd, 2011. Whitney had H1N1 and pneumonia and had spent 24 fighting days in ICU, until she could no longer fight the complications of this horrible sickness. Whitney was born on August 17th, 1988. She was a very special baby and such a blessing to her parents and sisters as well as countless family and friends. Whitney loved so much. She had a contagious giggle and was a very loving person. Whitney was a Nanny for Stefanie, her sister and she was in school, studying medical transcription, she was so close to finishing her degree. She will be deeply deeply missed. She is proceeded in death by her father, Scott Whitehead and survived by her mother Tracy Whitehead and her sisters---DeAnna (Aadam) Marshall, Stefanie Whitehead and Maddie Whitehead as well as her best friend who meant so much to her Katie Parker and her nieces and nephews, Rylee, Baylee, Corbin, Eli, Frankie, Isabelle and Presley and countless relatives. Whitney’s Celebration of Life service will be held on Thursday, April 14th at 1:00 pm at Bellingham CTK, 4173 Meridian Street in Bellingham, WA. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Whitney Whitehead donation account at any WECU, this account was created to cover her medical expenses. We thank you all for your loving words and constant prayers during this time.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Walk by faith, not by sight
Taking one day at a time...looking over the last few weeks, thinking about heaven and the joy Whitney feels and how happy she is in a place where she is healed and in the arms of Jesus. Everything is still very raw, this is still extremely hard. I lean more on Christ then I ever have in my entire life. We all are.
I went back to March 11th in the devotional Jesus Calling to see what was said on that day...a day we may have not understood what was about to happen and where our journey would take us in the very long days we went through while our Whitney was in ICU and then the weeks to come.
March 11th...Jesus Calling---WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT. As you take steps of faith, depending on Me, I will show you how much I can do for you. If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing Me work through you. When I gave you My Spirit, I empowered you to live beyond your natural ability and strength. That's why it is so wrong to measure your energy level against the challenges ahead of you. The issue is not your strength but mine, which is limitless. By walking close to Me, you can accomplish My purposes in My strength.
Our journey isn't even close to being over and wont be over until we are home with Jesus and where Whitney is...and then wow, that is really just the beginning...years ago when I had faced some medical trauma, I had been on a healing road myself, questioned the whys and for what reason's...I had read a book a friend had given me...in the words written, it had talked about the small amount of time we are really here on Earth and how much it is a dot a literal dot of time...and eternity is our heavenly home and even though I remained here on Earth and my journey still continues, I find comfort in knowing there is a place, our real home...and someday and someday soon I will see my sister, my dad and the many loved ones who went home before us.
This reality doesn't take away from the pain and grief we are all facing now and for however long, but there is so much more hope in our journey on Earth and forever more. Whitney will be forever in our hearts, always missed. We can also rejoice in her life eternal with Jesus and we will be joining her sometime soon.
Your loving prayers and Jesus' love are what is getting us through each day we are facing.
Our hearts still remain heavy, but hopeful at the same time.
Whit's Sisters
I went back to March 11th in the devotional Jesus Calling to see what was said on that day...a day we may have not understood what was about to happen and where our journey would take us in the very long days we went through while our Whitney was in ICU and then the weeks to come.
March 11th...Jesus Calling---WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT. As you take steps of faith, depending on Me, I will show you how much I can do for you. If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing Me work through you. When I gave you My Spirit, I empowered you to live beyond your natural ability and strength. That's why it is so wrong to measure your energy level against the challenges ahead of you. The issue is not your strength but mine, which is limitless. By walking close to Me, you can accomplish My purposes in My strength.
Our journey isn't even close to being over and wont be over until we are home with Jesus and where Whitney is...and then wow, that is really just the beginning...years ago when I had faced some medical trauma, I had been on a healing road myself, questioned the whys and for what reason's...I had read a book a friend had given me...in the words written, it had talked about the small amount of time we are really here on Earth and how much it is a dot a literal dot of time...and eternity is our heavenly home and even though I remained here on Earth and my journey still continues, I find comfort in knowing there is a place, our real home...and someday and someday soon I will see my sister, my dad and the many loved ones who went home before us.
This reality doesn't take away from the pain and grief we are all facing now and for however long, but there is so much more hope in our journey on Earth and forever more. Whitney will be forever in our hearts, always missed. We can also rejoice in her life eternal with Jesus and we will be joining her sometime soon.
Your loving prayers and Jesus' love are what is getting us through each day we are facing.
Our hearts still remain heavy, but hopeful at the same time.
Whit's Sisters
Monday, April 4, 2011
Heavy Hearts
Oh, I have such a heavy heart right now...I can only say I am sad and how much I don't understand... those are the only words I form, literally.
I know Whitney is in Heaven and she is happy, healthy and at peace and with her Jesus and our Dad. My faith hasn't changed, I believe in Jesus, believe everything has a place and a fit, just like a puzzle. I just feel such a heaviness for this deep deep pain. Losing Whitney was a bigger blow then losing Dad. It was like someone ripped the band-aid off, so quick---and it still stings.
Whitney will be deeply deeply missed, missed by so many. Your encouraging words and constant prayers are very healing and if I didn't walk this road with Jesus, I would be lost and could be in a different place mentally right now. There may be some of you who are following this journey and aren't believers, I urge you to take this time to really reflect where you are headed when your life here on earth is done. I know where I am headed, where Whitney is and her life and death can be an opportunity for Jesus to change yours.
They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved" Acts 16:31
"Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going." John 14:1 - 4
1-5For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we'll never have to relocate our "tents" again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move—and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what's coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we're tired of it! We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less.
2 Corinthians 5: 1-5 (The Message)
I am going to let God's word echo in my heavy heart awhile. Our family is deeply grieving and are going to be taking it one day at a time. We will continue to give you word on memorial happenings and all those details as they form.
With heavy hearts,
Whit's Sisters
I know Whitney is in Heaven and she is happy, healthy and at peace and with her Jesus and our Dad. My faith hasn't changed, I believe in Jesus, believe everything has a place and a fit, just like a puzzle. I just feel such a heaviness for this deep deep pain. Losing Whitney was a bigger blow then losing Dad. It was like someone ripped the band-aid off, so quick---and it still stings.
Whitney will be deeply deeply missed, missed by so many. Your encouraging words and constant prayers are very healing and if I didn't walk this road with Jesus, I would be lost and could be in a different place mentally right now. There may be some of you who are following this journey and aren't believers, I urge you to take this time to really reflect where you are headed when your life here on earth is done. I know where I am headed, where Whitney is and her life and death can be an opportunity for Jesus to change yours.
They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved" Acts 16:31
"Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going." John 14:1 - 4
1-5For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we'll never have to relocate our "tents" again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move—and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what's coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we're tired of it! We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less.
2 Corinthians 5: 1-5 (The Message)
I am going to let God's word echo in my heavy heart awhile. Our family is deeply grieving and are going to be taking it one day at a time. We will continue to give you word on memorial happenings and all those details as they form.
With heavy hearts,
Whit's Sisters
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